Letter to the big man...

Dear sir,

I just want to enter a plea (or like one advocate put it, entering a pulley!) concerning the shilling. I am terribly failing to meet the my financial obligations to me, my family and to my creator. you may blame me for being a spendthrift, but I assure you I gave up those good habits long ago. You may blame it on the economy but that is an animal I have failed to understand. You may blame it on the opposition [ some people may even think i belong with them] but i have no idea how those who don't contrl the budget can really be the cause of my financial dilemma!

Last year I quit my Job and took up another which promised to pay more. In deed the job pays more but I am not very happy. There is more month at the end of the money and I am starting to look malnourished.

Can't you curb this monster called inflation? Some have suggested that you are actually causing it by giving many big gifts to your cronies... Can I become your cronies please? I even requested you to be my friend on facebook but it turns out someone else does your facebook for you, besides, you have more fans than U2, how am I supposed to get close to you, you also know that I am an introvert who rarely exerts himself too much on anyone.

Some say because you bought us some big guns and metallic birds to carry them, we can't afford sugar... Did I ever mention that I love flying? Can I pretty please, become one of the flyers of those big guns? But why did you buy those birds, now I can't afford the things I need [strike that, I mean i can barely get by].

I also have an issue on the tax, I do the work and you take out 30% of my money. I have never reclaimed my withholding tax returns. and now that the times are hard, is it possible for me to hold onto the taxes for a little while until things get better? I mean the 30% you take out would go a long way in helping with my situation.

I am told if i was setting up a big building in Kampala I would not pay any tax on materials, etc. I am putting up a relatively big building on my plot in Entebbe... well? Why was I not given any tax breaks? Ok. 3-bedrooms is not 5 storey building but more than 80% of Ugandan may disagree with you on this matter....

I have another brilliant idea: is it possible for me to head one of the ministries where you are channeling a lot of money? I am above 30 years. I am qualified in Energy, Rural industry, rural roads... can e create a ministry for SMIs? Small scale industries? How about state ministry for rural energy and electrification? I can also lead the ministry on labour-based road development... what say you?

Do get back to me on the matter our relationship depends heavily on this.