JT's compressed dictionary

JT is growing quite some. He even has clothes preferences for the school days. No drab colours for him. He looks out for the funky stuff.  His grammar is also picking up  quite. below are a few words that have cracked us up over and over.

Shiwi [a word used to mean sorry]
Fif-off [a variant of switch off]
Ethrathry [also read as exactly]
Hawo [ is not a name but a representation of the English word "Hullo"]
A ha woo [Is our sweet way of saying "I love you"]
Ningo Ningo  [part of the over done nursery ryhme that also starts with the word "twinkle twinkle"]
Haf [is a new rendition of  "Hi-five"]

spurious relationships

I'm in Kasese.
I'm reading an essay. It's full of hearsay.
It's raining outside.
It's quite warm inside.
I ate goat for supper for the first time.
My belly now makes a chime!
I'm forced to stay awake reading a report so boring
Yet the bed is obviously calling, imploring.
....

Cineplex Cinema - beyond movies

For most Ugandans Cinema experience means only one thing: Cineplex cinema. A business that has continued to monopolise this sector for the last n+ years[ after all I am not so sure when they came to be - late nineties perhaps]. Unfortunately the many years experience for Cineplex have meant nothing in terms of progress. Their only success has been in diversion. these seem like sweeping statements but if you've gone to Cineplex as long as I have or longer, you would have noticed the glitches in the movies, the quality of the service or the service or the lack thereof.

The beginnings
My first cinema experience was at Cineplex [hint hint I was not born in the 60's - contrary  to popular belief]. Those days, Cineplex was at Wilson road, 2 halls. easy access for all those who -like me - depended on taxis for transportation. With hindsight, I think Wilson road was very inconvenient for the folk with cars. parking was not always available to the movie goers. And if you know Wilson road  well enough, you would agree with me that leaving your car on that street and going for a 9.30pm movie would probably not be the best idea.

But thing got worse at Wilson road. First came the vermin. stories of rats running in the isles as people enjoyed their cinema became common. Poor you if you had taken a girl to the cinema to watch a thriller and at the moment of intense suspense, a rat runs on her feet... bad, bad, bad.

next came the load shedding. There were times you could watch a 2 hour movie in 3 hours. Wilson road seemed to lack back up power. So while in darkness as you waited for the return of UMEME or when they finally started Using a generator which never seemed to come on automatically, the rats would come out to entertain you - or your feet.

Take 2: Garden city 
When a new mall opened on Yusuf Lule, Cineplex decided to move some of its clientele to a more spacious location with more parking, bigger lounges and VIP seating. We all fell for it even if it meant more costly movies. We the young folk started to save up our pocket money just so we can impress the damsel by taking them to the garden city cinema instead of the cheap Wilson road option. Besides, new movies would always be at  garden city and those of you will lean purses had to endure months old movies at Wilson road.

But that started to change as well...
Wilson road finally closed. Garden city expanded to 4 halls from the initial 2. AC started to malfunction. Cine 1 and 4 seemed to be always too cold. the others seemed relatively warmer. the adverts increased. The trailers reduced. The prices went up. Months-old movies started showing with pockets of fresh block busters every once in a while. A few premiers happened courtesy of corporate sponsorships. Then sound started deteriorating. Nice movies got over subscribed and management simply continued selling tickets such that on a few occasions, people ended up sitting on stairs to watch movies.

And a new mall opened again...

Oasis mall lured management to take up new digs there. And hence they forgot, i think, about Garden city. They promised movies in HD with imax. Prices went up if you wanted to go to Oasis mall cinema halls. they branded the establishment there the hub.they included a bookshop, coffee shop bar area and lounges. But the service changeth not. sound changeth not and i-max cometh not. So for 4 thousand extra, you get.... nothing.

Friends recently complained of a movies they were watching when on screen appeared a shadow walking across... as if showing a pirated movie. Thing is they did not show this once but their copy run it's course week in and out for every show.

There have now been two incidents [that I know of] where the movie promised did not show or simply arrived late. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol was supposed to show from 7.00PM but the only show for the first day was at 10.00PM. And those unlucky chaps who were patient enough to wait until 10.00PM watched it until 1.00AM with breaks in between as they waited for the next reel or something.

My own experience was even more recent when I bought tickets for Avengers on Friday at 3pm with insistence from the clerk that indeed it was showing that evening. come 9.30PM when I arrived with my hot date [wife] to be informed how the movie would not show [booooooooooooooooooo] the evening was hence spoiled.

There is yet another evil about our dear vendor.  Management  knows the number of seats per hall yet they somehow cannot control their gluttony when it comes to how many ticket they sell per show.
1. The seats have numbers which are never followed.
2. The tickets have serial numbers... and could also have seat numbers if management cared.
Come entry time and everyone scrambles to be the first in to take those nice seats in the centre. So in our case it does not matter when you paid, you'll have to fight it out to get to that seat.

There was a time I entered the cinema and for 30 minutes I tried to catch the attention of the people in the booth to tell them that the picture was not in focus. I finally walked out and found the operators in the lounge sippin' drinks and chatting!!

And when the movie ends...
Management does not let the credits roll. they turn on all lights so fast and many a time there is a punchline we miss that comes somewhere between credits. We paid for the whole movie, leave us to watch it to the very end.



 Going back to the beginning...
The slogan is "Cineplex cinema... beyond movies"! But I honestly don't see anything offered beyond the movies. Perhaps the beyond movies refers to

• some history [read old movies], 
• Fright [read cinema vermin], 
• Less [read cutting movies before the last credit. Higher cost of movies with no change in quality]
• Muscles [as we fight to enter the halls]
• Lies [as we are promised movies that don't show]
• Flat bums[ as we are forced to sit on steps in over crowded cinema halls]
• I dare say the movies themselves tend to come late and at times not the best quality.
  

With the trend in operations,

• A new mall will open. 
• Cineplex will rush in to set up new halls
• We shall be promised heaven
• Garden city cinemas may be closed
• Oasis mall cinema halls will continue on a downward trend
• And another mall will open, again....

PS:
Avengers was awesome, when I finally managed to shove my into the cinema.

What's your insginia!

What is in a name and what is in a logo/ insignia?I have always wondered how some of these cars got their logos. I am not going to give you a history lecture though, but I'll share my favorite car logos and what comes to mind when I see them.

Snakes and horses

some snakes are worth keeping... Dodge Viper GTS

the definition of horse power... Ford Mustang

Sigh.... Ford Mustang Shelby GT500... do you remember the gone in 60 seconds with   Nicholas Cage67 Shelby GT500 a.k.a Eleanor? I fell in love with Ford then. And again I say, it's a dangerous thing when a snake [cobra] is "stings"  a horse [mustang]... madness.

Horses can fly... Ferrari has proven it over and over

Beasts of the highway

I am coming and you can't stop me. where these chaps inspired from the Spanish bull fights? For me a charging bull means power with almost no control. Lambo might need to en light me on this.

I have a Jaaaaaaaag. GRAAAUUUUUU

Ram it! From Dodge

 Pitch forks and all things evil

the car for rich men with a dark side... a few names come to mind

is this italiano for pagan? still makes some good stuff...

why the Y?

classic

Yamaha... doesn't matter if it is a speaker, EQ, or motorbike. Yamaha is known by the "Y"!

for lack of better insignias...

great cars, none the less



Old money! Vanity meets Modesty at the bar



fire-breathing monsters



hello! Konnie.

there is a strange thing about these Stuttgart chaps... great cars in silly exteriors.

If I had wings....

Gives you wings... a car for snobs with cigars

where money beats...

circles and crosses

Bayerische Motoren-Werke (Bavarian Motor works)

a snake and a cross... a weird combination

Reminds me of military uniforms and the united nations!... Cadillac

Chevrolet

Power Losses - Paying through our noses

UMEME made its case to the public and ERA. Their customer base grew to over 400,000 in the last 5 years. The distribution losses are down to about 30% from about 40%. They also want to invest another US$35mil in grid expansion to add more clients. they say generation and transmission losses take 70% of all losses. HENCE we must pay more.

We are paying for the losses incurred in generation, transmission and distribution. It is so unfair for a company to make someone pay for inefficiencies on it's own part. UEGCL and UETCL should not charge us for power they never generated/supplied!

There was also the issue of tampered meters - the ones that run faster than the electricity consumed. How was that addressed? No one has ever come to my home to reduce the meter rotational speed.

In a twist in the tale the government is giving out free energy saver bulbs to increase energy efficiency in households. I hereby categorically state that  I don't need another bulb from UMEME or government. I much rather the government AND UMEME and ESKOM and all those power producers reduced the losses and the already high tariff. 

The blame game continues:

Blame the oil prices. Blame the transmission and generation losses. Blame the rising dollar rate, Blame the opposition who, allegedly sabotaged the Bujagali power project... Blame it on something, anything.

Comments:

I have no control on how power is generated at Jinja or Namanve for that matter. whether we invest more in High Speed Diesel and Heavy Fuel Oil Thermal Generators or build 10 new hydro power dams and a few nuclear power plants is purely a government decision. and this holds true to Uganda's scenario

Paying for losses that I did not cause is cruel. It is theft at a whole new level. It is like passive smoking.

Giving us energy savers while the other players are heaping their sloppiness on us is an insult. Talk about giving a dog a bone!! To expect us to conserve the poor quality service should be viewed as a criminal offense.

The idea of expanding the grid to reach more customers is insane. You can't provide the ones you have with a decent service, why add to the number of your disgruntled customers?

Whether oil prices and dollar rates have gone up should be a negotiation between power companies and the government. Revising our power tariffs upward is a deliberate attempt to cripple the businesses and livelihoods of the average Ugandan. In response, charcoal and firewood use is bound to increase, to the detriment of our forests and environment.  Soon we might as well hand them back the wires and meters and light fireplaces in our compounds. I am just may be heading for the tadooba, to yield to the regression that we are being forced into. But not yet... I will actually buy that expensive solar PV.

We've been hit by a smooth criminal

21 questions: SIM card registration

Dear telecom fraternity,

I hear the communication commission wants to you get all our simcards registered. I've heard ads on the radio saying my simcard will become my address. So on this matter, I have 21 Questions I hope you can help me answer.

21 QUESTIONS
1. Is this true? I mean the part of my sim card becoming my address... scary!
2. Will you actually be able to send my relatives from Kabulasoke to my slum home in Nkere Zone by a mere touch of a button?
3. Is there a possibility that you are planning to advertise my location to all and sundry as long they have my number? and might this include all my stalkers, over zealous fans, weirdos, and the deranged alike?

ADs
4a. How come there are no fancy ads on this? Only one of you is doing a hell of a job of making me queasy about registering... I guess hence these questions.
4b. How come you afford money for all the other ads and simply send me a text to say it is good for me to register? For a record, I don't see the good in registering. One of you at least has the good sense of giving land to some puny lucky winners but the rest of the lot simply say I should walk to the kiosk hand in my details and all will be well. What a really hear is :" Go and sell your soul and all will be well"

Benefits:
5. Where are the  real benefits? Will there be no dropped calls the moment I register?
5b. Will the signal quality improve? Will I get a faster connection?

6. Will the calls be cheaper? Will the interconnection fees be removed for the registered?
7. Will I get faster response from police when in need of their services?
8. Will this bring automatic access to ambulance to my area?
9. Is there any benefit to the user for this new registration drive, anything at all?

Costs
Soon we shall be going to be counted in the national census, from the little bird I heard, it looks like that will also be this year
10. why not simply register  the simcard then?
11. Who pays for the passport photo I must deliver to the registration desk? Most passport photo booths give you 3 instead of 1 and if you are in Kampala that would be leave your wallet 10,000 shillings  lighter.
12. What If I don't have a valid ID? Those are rare in our slums. We all hoped to get IDs from the national ID efforts. Look where that has left us.
13. Did someone say passport? instead of IDs What is that?

Convenience / Efficiency/ forward thinking:
14. Could the network provider please install cameras at their kiosks and take a digital photo?
15. In this day and age should we still be doing paper registration?
16. Why not proper biometrics instead of the tedium of filling registration forms from a couple of million simcards across the country?
17. Have you or the commission taken into account the environmental impact of all that paper work?
18. Are you trying to create more jobs for data entrants plowing through all those pages of data?

Legal:
19. Is it possible that my data may get lost or find its way into the wrong hands?
20.I would like to sign an NDA with the service provider before I register lest my data end up in the wrong hands accidentally. Is that possible?
21. How do we verify that our data is safe?

Origins:
21a. How did we get here? fist mass distribution of almost free simcards and then later a costly registration!
21b. Must we firefight everything? What happened to our planning?

Conclusions:
I see many carts ahead of horses. And we maybe called upon to do biometrics registration in 3-5 years when someone figures it is a better method. Our biodata is valuable, no, it's actually portent. Kindly keep it safe for all our sakes.

the New G -Klasse What Will Brabus Do?

BBC top gear says there's a new G63 from the chaps at AB Motorfabriken i Göteborg (aka AMG) replacing the G55...

The Promises:

1. 13% more efficient. 
2. Better acceleration. 
3. Better deceleration? more horses. 
4. Better fuel economy. 
5. Better suspension? 
6. Better handling?

Brabus, your move...

for us the Brabus in diehards this presents an opportunity and a challenge! We can't wait for the finest tuner will do to this new G-Wagen. Our minds are coming up with all sorts of imegary on what could come out from Brabus in response. 

I for one I ask: 

1. Can we expect some more improvements on that ego supercharging Widestar (as if the G55 from AMG was not fuelling owner's egos enough)? 
2. Will you remove the 800bhp limit so that we hit the 1000 horses mark unhindered? 
3. A G1000 up from the G800?... mama nyabo.
4. The Overfinch chaps at Leeds are churning out a limtied edition of Range rover called Range Rover Obsidian - Can we expect something in the same rank or higher rank?